Guess the carol or Christmas song

from the Requite character’s reaction to it!

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1) “I would very much like to run some tests on that old top hat they found.” – Tzenni Boccamera

2) “Even I know that it’s foolish to put your baby in anything a vrykol customarily eats out of.” – Ligeia Boccamera

3) *approval of depicted weather conditions* *approval also of offerings of warm flesh* – A Grue

4) “Anything that behaves like that isn’t a star. It’s probably some kind of Founder debris in a decaying orbit.” – Idrian Hawkwood

5) “Teaching children that the people who make lists and check them twice, and who know when you are sleeping and when you’re awake, only visit once a year and wear easily recognisable red clothing? What a good idea…” – The Order Of The Neither

6) “What could be more festive than seeing three profitable ventures return at once?” – Ushantih Diallo

7) “No one ever wrote a song about doing up the halls with boughs of vinog, I know that much,” – Innes Liang

8) “I’m in favour of getting enough rest and not being dismayed at any time of the year, and the rest of the tidings sound delicious too.” – Lotus Hart

9) “If some woman doesn’t want to swive you, open the door before she stabs you with something, Cristobal.” – Bel-Imperia Hawkwood

10) “Hell yeah you should sleep while you’re watching your flocks. And if anyone turns up, it’s definitely an angel of God and not some Hawkwoods.” – Kallisty Hawkwood

And a very merry Christmas or happy December to all of you!

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Mostly for gamers

Girls can be benign as well as alarming!

I assume quite a few of my readers are familiar with the Dungeons and Dragons alignment system.  If not, it basically pigeonholes characters on two moral axes: good versus evil and law versus chaos.  There are some odd wrinkles – there’s an ongoing argument, for example, about whether Chaotic Neutral can be a character with a ‘does stuff for kicks on the spur of the moment’ personality or whether it means someone who reacts to life utterly at random.

In the spirit of the season, I have come up with some ideas about what alignments some of the characters I’ve written would be if they were player characters.  Feel extremely free to disagree in the comments.

Heavy Ice

I did the quiz on the linked page for Kallisty Hawkwood, and she came out Neutral Evil, which I don’t think is unfair.  So did Raj, though he’s a surprisingly soft-hearted con man: I suspect the results got skewed by his having been brought up KinHarzin, which is enough to turn anyone lawful evil whatever their original inclinations.

Bel-Imperia Hawkwood is Lawful Don’t You Mess With My Friends.  Zak the concubine thinks he’s lawful good, but acts more like lawful evil.  Cardinal Indrago Lasair <i>knows</i> he’s lawful evil and is quite happy that way.  Considine Prime and his family are mostly chaotic good, which probably explains why they’re making such a mess of running a theocracy.  Strat has her own entry in the Monster Manual.

The Requite Duology

Catha Boccamera is chaotic good.  Ligeia Boccamera is probably most kindly described as lawful neutral, but could fit either of the other lawful alignments depending on your moral outlook.  Tzenni Boccamera is Neutral Scientific.  Innes Liang’s alignment is irrelevant as no gamesmaster in their senses would let a character that overpowered into their game.

The Kapellan brothers are mostly Lawful Hungry apart from Kjarten, who’s more like Chaotic Horny.  The Bastard of Mukhtar is Neutral in every way he can manage as a policy choice.  Sorszenna Hawkwood is Chaotic Adolescent.  The Order of the Neither, in as far as can be ascertained, are Lawful Weird, though not as weird as some of the other factions lurking about the place.

Goodness knows what’s going on in Firebrand, but apparently a requirement for the Noble prestige class is possession of either the name Augustus or a pug.

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Noise

I’ve sold slightly more .epubs and slightly fewer .mobis since Kindle Unlimited came in. Given the numbers involved I suspect this is just noise, but it’ll be interesting to see whether the trend continues.

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Today’s context-free snippet from the WIP

Spring-Heeled Jack image from Wikimedia Commons

Spring-Heeled Jack image from Wikimedia Commons

“Spring-Heeled Jack is not your spirit animal.”

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Hello!

frontview

Writing time has been kind of bitty lately, due to a combination of moving house twice in six months and recovering from FINALLY getting Heavy Ice out there. However, we’re now somewhat unpacked and I have a room to write in that feels like a room rather than a corner of a storage crate, so things are progressing. I still have several projects jostling for attention, which is at least better than having no ideas at all.

fromesaturdayteacup

A couple of weeks ago I went to the second Frome Steampunk Extravaganza and had a wonderful time. Everyone was very friendly, steampunks and Frome locals alike. The bands put on a great show and the market was packed. The organisers did an awesome job. More photos of what I wore are at my alleged style blog.

And now I need to move books around in the sitting room in preparation for the great migration of books down out of the loft. See you around!

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Snippet

Today’s comparison that a character came up with with no mediation from me: “It smells like a re-enactor’s attic.”

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I Get Spam

spam

Dear providers of ‘content’ with some vague relation to writing that you think I might want to reblog from you: I’m a writer. I make my own content. What you are doing is a bit like coming to the door of my amazing friend Sarah who makes her own chili sauce and offering her a packet of tomato sauce you found on the floor of a fast food restaurant. Except that her chili sauce is superior to my books in that it doesn’t come with too many adjectives in the sex scenes.

Dear person claiming to be a female Lieutenant General looking for a kind, sincere man; I am not a kind, sincere man. Sorry. I am also sorry to hear that your ‘health is regressing by the minute’, as that must be very painful for you. Nevertheless I can be of no help to you getting the money out of Afghanistan. I suggest you use it to buy the attentions of a very expensive gigolo.

Dear sellers of facebook likes: I don’t do facebook. I kind of appreciate your efforts to subvert its evil with your own evil, in the same way that I’d be entertained by seeing a giant octopus fight it out with a dinosaur-headed shark, but frankly I can get giant octopus versus dinosaur-headed shark fights any day of the week on the Syfy Channel and therefore have no need of your substitute.

Dear people who claim to be the United Nations and say that you are willing to give me £3.7 million to eradicate poverty with: I do not think that you are the real United Nations, because the United Nations does not operate out of a P.O. Box in Benin.

Dear SEO company named after an endangered mammal, may your business reproduce as inefficiently as your namesake.

Kisses, Ankaret.

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